tom-marvolo-dildo:

hey guys as it’s starting to get warmer out i'd like to remind everyone to stay hydrated and drink lots of water!



How do people end up in relationship after relationship after relationship and I can’t find a single person to even find me remotely interesting for a solid ten seconds? 



fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

datagoddess:

This is a good reason to always carry sidewalk chalk in the car.

There is a special circle of hell reserved for people like this.

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

datagoddess:

This is a good reason to always carry sidewalk chalk in the car.

There is a special circle of hell reserved for people like this.


adderalling:

i was always scared of teenagers when i was little because i felt like they always glared at me and looked tired and angry and now i understand


foxnewsofficial:

basedvirgin:

foxnewsofficial:

i put it in for 4 minutes then got bored

accurate summation of my sex life

this was about my microwaveable curry chicken but i’m sorry to hear that


spocktormccoy:

headstailsandredroses:

alphalewolf:

Chris Evans was cast as both The Human Torch and Captain America because of reasons.

more like the human crotch and captain ass-merica

this is an important gifset





esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note
image

image

and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

image

oMGGGG

image

pizza cares

Pizza understands



monobeartheater:

rosieroodoodeloo:

rneerkat:

im pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on a shelf i cant reach, but i dont want to jump to conclusions

IS THIS REAL.

LETS ALL APPRECIATE FOR A MOMENT THAT THE UNIVERSE EVOLVED JUST RIGHT TO MAKE THIS PUN POSSIBLE